Marriage malaise
Dear Annie: My wife and I have been married for 20 years and have two great kids. When we first married, life was fun. We did things together, held hands, cuddled in bed, talked and laughed a lot. Now, other than going out to eat, we don`t do much together. There is no romance, and I couldn`t even tell you the last time either of us said "I love you."

I don`t think my wife is happy, either. But she is not one to discuss emotional things. Her approach is to ignore it. I have thought about asking her to go with me for counseling, but she has been very stressed at work and I worry it would make things worse for her.

I don`t want a divorce, but I don`t want to be miserable forever. I suspect if we saw a counselor, my wife would put on an act and pretend to be what I wanted so I wouldn`t walk out the door. I know I`m not the same guy she married 20 years ago, but I still want to have fun and I want it to be with her. She seems content to go to work, come home, watch TV and go to bed. Please help. -- Not Having Fun in N.C.

Dear N.C.: Your wife may have lost interest in romance partly due to menopause or because the children have consumed much of her energy. It`s also possible she needs more help from you in other areas to free up time for romance.

In any event, the situation won`t improve if you don`t address it. Tell your wife you are concerned about your relationship. Ask her to see her doctor for a complete physical and then to come with you for marriage counseling. If she refuses to go, go without her.

Dear Annie: Please tell me how to handle it when guests arrive chronically early.

Certain family members are always at least a half-hour ahead of schedule. They arrive while my husband and I are still cooking and cleaning, or while we are trying to get our three children and ourselves ready. Worse, they pull into the driveway and honk the horn, expecting us to help them unload their car, which is filled with stuff they bring "wondering if we can use it."

Am I expected to put out food for them before the others arrive? Is it OK to excuse myself to shower and dress? I don`t want to insult them, but how can I get them to arrive on time? -- Not Yet

Dear Not Yet: You have two options: You can tell them to arrive a half-hour later than everyone else, or you can act stunned and bewildered that they have shown up so early. Let them honk their horn, and if they ring the bell, tell them you`re so sorry you don`t have time to help them unload their car and you hope they won`t mind sitting in the living room while you continue your preparations.

Be polite, but under no circumstances should they be given your attention or your food until you are ready.

[ 출처 ] 코리아헤럴드

Malaise [mə|leɪz]
* the problems affecting a particular situation or group of people that are difficult to explain or identify
* a general feeling of being ill/sick, unhappy or not satisfied, without signs of any particular problem

* Until then, the malaise that had seen them slip close to the bottom three looked to be near the surface still. (출처: The Independent)

* This has come to be known as his "malaise" speech, even though he did not actually use the word. (출처: Wikipedia)

* Fever and malaise generally disappear within a few days to a week, but other symptoms such as joint pain may continue up to six months. (출처: Wikipedia)

* He took a taxi and, on the increasing of the malaise, he asked for the driver to stop and brought for him a glass of water. (출처: Wikipedia)

* I could be wrong, but that's my general impression of the Chinese malaise. (출처: USENET)

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